Hosts/Hostesses

I've never understood how this position can be so hard to do, but somehow I've encountered a million hosts who have no clue how to greet and seat people. They have no clue how to go in rotation, or how to open a door for a guest. They have no idea how to work a cash register, take a to-go order or answer a phone. It's sad, really.

Co-Workers

I used to work in a family style restaurant for four years. During that time I trained what felt like a million other servers. It was not hard to tell what kind of co-worker they were going to be by the end of their five day training period. I remember one girl who was sweet as sugar while on the floor, but the instant we were on the server line she turned nasty. She bad-mouthed all her tables, picked on the cooks, and treated the other servers as if we were beneath her. I still have no idea how she got hired. Needless to say, she did not last long.

One of my "favorite" co-workers was named Alberto. I swear that guy moved slower than any person I've ever met. He had no speed other than "mosey". He moseyed if he had one table; he moseyed if he had ten. I have no idea how this guy made any money in this business. He wasn't even a pleasant person. He was rude and confrontational, but he somehow kept that job for years. makes me wonder what he was doing for the managers to keep it.

Have you ever worked with the table thief? My boyfriend, who is an ex-coworker, fits in this category. most of the time these co-workers drive me CRAZY. If he was working we all knew we were going to get shafted. Fortunately for me, I knew that money was going into the joint bank account (and I didn't have to work for it! :P), so I didn't really care. However, if it was someone else and that money wasn't going to me, I'd get furious.

The Boss

• I love when I have a boss who has obviously never served a day in their life. Thought that go through my head: How are you going to supervise me when you have no idea how to do my job? I could walk out of here right now and you would be screwed because you can't step into my shoes and do what I do.
• I love green bosses. They're still so shiny and new. They have that "New Manager" smell. And they're so easy to run over too. You can get almost anything out of them if you know the right way to manipulate them.
• I really love the bosses that are total pricks. The ones that have the know-how to do the job, but lack the people skills to really get it right. I had a boss, we'll call him Scott, that was the ultimate prick. He made racist and sexual comments on a daily basis. He would pit employees against each other like he had placed a bet on it. Scott was also the one that refused to allow his employees to fraternize. Like he can control that! Idiot. (By the way, I currently have two kids with an ex-coworker I met while working for this prick.)
  
• I really love The Lifers. You know who I'm talking about, the managers who've been in the industry for so long they have a cot out back to nap in. They always turn out one of two ways, either they give up and you find them napping at their desk in the office (yes, I've had this happen to me), or they're so gung-ho about the job that they talk about it constantly; continuously reminding every employee they come across that if they work hard they can someday become a manager too.

Waiting

I'm watching the movie Waiting at the moment and it reminds why I don't want to go back into the restaurant industry. There were so many things that pissed me off when I was a server.

• Customers who start the meal off with telling me how horrible the last visit they had was. If it was so horrible, WHY DID YOU COME BACK?! Seriously, you didn't have a good experience, yet you're willing to give your money to this company again? You're probably also the person that picks the same damn lotto numbers every week. You're just too boring to try something new.
• That martyr who tells me how awful the food is, but refuses to allow me to fix it. Ever hear the cliche "cutting your nose off to spite your face"? That's you.
• The bad tippers. If you can't afford to tip, don't go out to eat. It's not like you don't know you're supposed to tip before you went out to eat.
  
• Oh! Here's one I love: "I'd like a glass of water and a bowl full of lemons." How cheap can you be?! Making your own lemonade in a restaurant?!